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I have an inactive, unromantic, non-thrilling horrible story to offer all the thieves like these exploitive, English-deficient filmmakers.

It's called: No Pay, No Play. It's 120 pages of highly imaginative, highly visual, brilliantly white, virtual sheets of blank paper.

Let them shoot that one, after they shoot themselves. Or before. It doesn't matter. I won't be taking the meeting. I'll be too busy polishing the script.

• Location: (GTA)
• Compensation: Virtually unlimited
• Telecommuting is ok.
• This is a contract job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.